When I was in high school, I had this theory that if you liked a boy and wanted to increase your chances of going out with him, you should let it slip to a blabbermouth friend about your crush. Inevitably, the news would trickle through various ears and mouths until your crush heard about your interest. After that, one of three things would happen. If he didn’t like you, you could play it off as a rumor. If he did like you, he would now have the courage to ask you out. (High school boys have fragile egos, and they don’t like to make the first move unless they’re pretty sure they won’t get shot down.)
And then there was a third possibility. Maybe he had never thought of you in that way before, but after hearing about your crush, he would be flattered and intrigued. He might look at you in a different way and develop an interest in you he never would have realized otherwise. (It works the other way, too — I’m pretty sure I went out with some boys in high school just because I heard that they had crushes on me.)
In other words, if you put your desire out there into the world, you’re more likely to get what you want, one way or the other.
Almost exactly two years ago, I started this blog as a way to put my desire out there into the world. In my very first post, I said: I want to publish a book; I want to make writing my job.
This was a big step for me. For a long time, I hadn’t told people about my writing goals because I was afraid that if I didn’t achieve them I would look foolish.
The blog was, in a way, me telling a blabbermouth friend (the Internet) about my desires; it was also a way to hold myself accountable. Now that I had announced it, I couldn’t hide in the safety net of math teaching any longer. I had to go out there (and by “go out there” I mean I had to sit at home in front of my computer) and try my very best to make a career out of writing.
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And then something else happened in those first few months of blogging. I put another desire out there. In My Most Personal Post Yet I wrote:
What I really want more than anything else… is to be out on the beach… sitting in a low canvas chair next to a man I love, drinking beer and watching our children play in the sand. I don’t want to always be thinking about getting home and writing about my experiences so I can share them with others. I want someone to be at my side, experiencing things with me, in the very moment that they happen.
And, ironically, it was right around this time that someone (someone named Paul) started reading my blog and taking an interest in me…
I hope I’m not sounding like The Secret (which I’ve never seen/read), or acting too New-Agey. (“Set an intention, and the universe will hear you.”) All I’m saying is that if you admit to yourself and to the world what it is you really want, you increase your chances of getting it. Because not only do you start trying harder to make these things happen, but now other people know what you want and might decide to help you.
It seems to be working for me. Recently, I got an agent who is going to help me sell one of my novels (and then hopefully help me sell more!) And, last week, Paul asked me to marry him.
I’m not saying these things wouldn’t have happened without this blabbermouth blog, but it sure didn’t hurt.