# of pages written: 6
# of literary mags submitted to: 2
I feel I need to apologize for my last blog post about “deranged sorority girl” Rebecca Martinson and her email rant. I never wanted to use my blog as a place to put people down or perpetuate negativity, and I feel like I was unnecessarily judgmental towards Rebecca.
I accused her, and others of her generation, of “gross over-sharing” through social media, but that is really the lemon calling the lime sour, because I have been blabbing to the whole world about my every waking (and sometimes every dreaming) thought for 276 days now, and if that’s not over-sharing, I don’t know what is.
In case you are still unaware, Rebecca’s email was an angry tirade (filled with capital letter screaming and heavy use of the f-word), aimed at her sorority sisters for not being fun enough and social enough with the boys of Sigma Nu. I poo-pooed her overall message, which seemed to be stressing how important it is to be liked, especially by boys. I said that she “became psychotically angry over things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t matter at all.”*
In her email, Rebecca was being openly bitchy, but in my blog post I was being bitchy in a snide, holier-than-thou type of way. Which is maybe just as bad. Because really, what do I know about the grand scheme of life, and who am I to decide what gives it meaning?
And, to be honest, being well-liked, being seen as fun and social, being thought attractive by boys… these things are important to me, too. I sometimes wish I didn’t care quite so much what people think of me.
I should remember, though, that I have some control over what is important to me. NEWSFLASH, as Rebecca would say, we’re all going to die one day. DOUBLE NEWSFLASH, we all have the power to decide what is going to give our lives meaning while we’re here on earth. And those meaningful things might change as life goes on.
When I was in college, doing theater, getting good grades, and partying were meaningful to me. In fact, dancing at clubs was so important to me at the time, I remember saying I’d never marry a man who wasn’t a good dancer. So Rebecca has chosen to give her college life meaning by being in Delta Gamma. It’s not what I would have chosen, but is it any more shallow than dancing at clubs?
I understand that Rebecca is involved in setting up events between her sorority and Sigma Nu. She has chosen a role for herself, and being a Delta Gamma sister is one of the things that gives her life meaning (at least for now). So she felt disappointed and frustrated when the events didn’t go as well as she’d planned.
When I think about it this way, her email makes a little more sense. I still think it was inappropriate and mostly insane, but I don’t think she’s a bad person. The things that are important to her right now are not things I currently find important in my life. And one day, she might not find them important either. As I got older, for example, I realized that, although dancing at clubs is fun, it’s not what gives my life meaning. I reevaluated my values and replaced dancing with writing.
And maybe that’s another thing. I was a tad jealous of Rebecca because thousands of people have now read her words and approved of them. Having my work read and liked is something that I think gives my life meaning. Maybe I was annoyed because Rebecca got something on accident that I am aiming for on purpose.
Yesterday I went for a walk and was dazzled by the pink and white azalea bushes and delighted by the twittering bluebirds and darting squirrels. Enjoying nature is something that gives my life meaning now. I examined my thoughts and feelings on Rebecca’s email and decided they were more complex than I initially thought.
Reevaluation of your ideas is important. It’s when people hold onto old values for too long that they become shallow. They forget to reevaluate, and they continue to pour their energy into activities and ways of life that aren’t actually meaningful to them anymore.
So maybe the sorority stuff is meaningful to Rebecca for now, and that’s fine, I guess, as long as she doesn’t lose her head or her self-esteem from it. I was often pretty shallow in college, but I have since reevaluated my priorities. Hopefully Rebecca will, too. Soon she’s going to graduate and be out in the real world where there are no match-ups between Delta Gams and Sig Nus. She’ll have to find a different role for herself. There will be no more sisters and brothers. Only people, trying to figure things out on their own.
*I’ve never quoted myself before. That was kind of fun!