# of pages written: well, none so far, but I did do helpful some research and reading
# of days left to write 1st draft: 133
Today at the gym I was changing out of my yoga clothes and putting on my street clothes to go tutoring. A woman in the dressing room said, “I like your dress.”
I stopped myself from saying, “really?” and told her thank you.
I was wearing a pale denim sleeveless sundress I bought seven years ago that is about two sizes too big for me. (I guess I thought I might grow into it.) What I do instead is safety pin the front of the dress to my bra straps to keep it from falling down. The woman was, in fact, watching me do this when she gave me the compliment. Then, because safety pinned bra straps are not appropriate for tutoring, or anywhere really, I wear a flowing, maternity-type shirt over top that tries, but ultimately fails, to cover up the unsightly bulge in the back from where the oversized fabric bunches up around my bra. It’s actually cuter than it sounds. But it’s still ridiculous.
Now I would like to describe some of my other favorite summer outfits.
One is a short, pink, cotton skirt that I wear constantly. Often times I wear it with a black and white polka dot shirt I found on sale in the children’s section at K-Mart. The shirt has a ruffle collar and blue, heart-shaped buttons down the front. Other times I wear the pink skirt underneath a bulky blue and white striped thrift store shirt that has a variety of stains on it, including (but probably not limited to) green paint, sweat, and chocolate ice cream.
Another one of my favorite summer outfits is what I like to call my miracle dress. I found it back when I lived in New Orleans and had to do my laundry at the laundromat. One day, as I was taking my clothes out of the dryer, I noticed a purple cotton dress that definitely didn’t belong to me. I stood up on a chair and shouted to the laundromat patrons: “Is this anyone’s dress?” No one responded, so I took it home and tried it on. It was super cute and fit me perfectly! Well, almost. It’s a little too tight in the bust, so I just wear it sans bra. And it does have some moth holes down at the bottom, but no one really notices those.
Then, I pair these charming outfits with white flats I paid fifty pesos for at an outdoor market in Mexico. I accessorize with silver dream-catcher earrings, purchased for five dollars from Eastern Market in DC. More often than not, my hair is pulled into a side-bun by way of many multi-colored CVS-brand barrettes, which, again, looks cuter than it sounds.
Unfortunately, all these fantastic summer outfits are not ideally suited to my new beach-bike-trivia-and-tutoring lifestyle, and I find I need some new clothes. So three times now I’ve been to the TJ Maxx here on the Cape (it seems to be the only place to shop besides old lady boutiques.) But I cannot find anything to wear. Nothing fits me or suits me, and I’m not sure what the problem is. Obviously I’m not that picky. (Refer to the outfits described above.)
The problem is, I don’t want to pay full price for something that doesn’t quite fit or isn’t quite me. It’s different when I get something on sale, or find it mixed in with my laundry. Then I’m willing to figure out how to make it work. I’m not expecting perfection, just something that’s wearable.
I guess this applies to my life, too. I don’t purposefully get myself into situations that I think won’t fit me or suit me. But once I find myself in a less-than-ideal place, I try to make some adjustments. At that point, I’m not expecting perfection, just something I can live with.
Right now, the task of being a “Writer” with a capital W is feeling too big for me. But nothing is ever as easy as it seems, and I suppose I just need to find some safety pins.